january's dose

where is the world headed to?
straight to hell.

here is january's dose of my listlessness details, for lack of better stuff

January 01, 2008
M - Punch Drunk Love

January 02, 2008
M - Bratz

January 03, 2008
M - Hitman

January 04, 2008
M - The Golden Compass

January 05, 2008
T - The Big Bang Theory - Season 1

January 06, 2008
B - Sin City - Sin City (Epi.1) - Frank Miller

January 07, 2008
M - The Big Lebowski

January 08, 2008
M - Beowulf

January 09, 2008
M - Persepolis

January 10, 2008
M - About A Boy
M - American Pie 6

January 11, 2008
B - Sin City - A Dame To Kill For (Epi.2) - Frank Miller

January 12, 2008
B - Sin City - The Big Fat Kill (Epi.3) - Frank Miller
M - Goodfellas

January 13, 2008
M - Outsourced
M - The Benchwarmers
M - Fever Pitch
M - Bad Santa

January 14, 2008
M - code 46

January 15, 2008
M - In The Name of Father

January 16, 2008
M - Being John Malkovich

January 21, 2008
B - Good Omens - Terry Pratchet & Neil Gaiman

January 22, 2008
M - Syriana
M - A History of Violence

January 23, 2008
M - I Am Sam

January 24, 2003
M - Babel

January 28, 2008
M - Layer Cake

January 30, 2008
M - Monster

January 31, 2008
M - The Matador
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Listening to: Dire Straits - Walk Of Life

hell

"Hell? You don't know what hell is. None of you people do. Hell isn't getting beat up or cut up or hauled in front of some faggot jury. Hell is waking up every god damn morning and not knowing why you're even here.Why you're even breathing."

Marv, Episode 3, Sin City
Frank Miller

happyness @ 20 lpa

Der Verrückte Diamant. The Crazy Diamond. seems like its a bit hazy these days.

A thin invisible veil seems to be stretched across my vision. it seems to affect everything. how things seem to be, how they feel. like a slow poison seeping in through my very skin albeit really slowly. i am supposed to be doing a little soul searching due certain recent events, namely, the extension of my stay at my alma mater till the end of calendar year 2008.

i am told i need to be fearless.to find my dashed self confidence again, and start believing in myself again. i need to become the guy i was again. i need to start thinking again.as i was telling Snowy earlier today, this bit came to me earleir on,during my trip back to hostel.

Me, a simple guy, with a simple uncomplicated needs. enough money. books.music.movies.computer games and a good gaming rig.a gal.time for wasting on all of above.a not too frustrating job.there. i dont need perfection. the above will do. i see at the very least 5 years before i get them all to my satisfaction.now, given my slight understanding of how things go around in this duniya, (& how i end up paying for phone services i don't subscribe to) i come to the conclusion, that in terms of the standard of living today, the above defined 'Happyness' translates to a pay packet of 20 lakh big ones a year. INR.that takes care of all the tax issues et al. yes, i am challenged when it comes to sizes. clothing, eating and thinking. Large, Xtra Large & Jumbo only. can't help it.anyway.this is the part where the bulb lights up in my head.

20 lpa, to use the current day job-market lingo.point is, what the hell makes ME worth the 20 huge ones? right now. right here.what do i have to offer? would i pay myself that much in my own firm, given where i stand and what i am today? this is where the soul searching effectively starts (and ends).

technically, this is the closest i guess i have come to resolving something at the beginning of the year, for the entire year's duration. it's wake the effing hell up, smell the coffee, chug it down, and send a dark chocolate to check up on it.thus, being sufficiently roused, clear up all the pending mess that is lying around you.the flab.think.the papers.the books.the music.the movies.the prep material.the quizzes.get it over with.THEN, start something. can't get simpler than that. let's get to work.

Peace I leave with you, my peace I give unto you:
not as the world giveth, give I unto you.
Let not your heart be troubled, neither let it be afraid.

John 14:27

goodnight kiddo.

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Listening to: Yann Tiersen - Sur Le Fil

eyes wide open

written sometime during the brief winter vacation at ahmedabad

i remember. i remember being scandalised to learn that kunki saas bhi kabhi bahu thi is still running.i mean, heck, i was in school when that used to come on the telly.i was seated,somehow in the front seat of my maruti 800, and heard something in the passing on the radio to the soap opera. dad confirmed this shocking news, with a laugh at my shocked face, mouth hanging open n all. only to jerk out of his reverie a moment later as an oncoming guy on a motorcycle was tackled headon by a pair of sheep chasing each other on the street. talk about shaken but not stirred. the guy literally quivered, looked around, and continued talking on his phone and drove off, one hand on the steering and the other holding the phone.people. had a nice peaceful night yesternight.after a pot of pasta, eaten with chopsticks to make sure i don;t gobble it down, and a nice mug of evening joe, i launched myself off to bed a mere 2 hours after sundown. looks like i'm never gonna be able to finish reading Snow at this rate.woke up at 3 and went walking / running / jogging / panting / walking in that specific order.then, sat down to a movie, tea & biscuits at 4 am, till 6 when bed tea was served to mom & dad. waiting for dad to wake up and hand me the keys to the poor car so that i can go trash it. just been waiting 5 hours now.god save the pedestrians.poor souls.which reminds me. what is one supposed to do when strangers mail you asking for guidance and help, without ever alluding to the details of why they seek your counsel?as i said earlier, people.

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Listening to: Poets Of The Fall - Sleep